Jul 2, 2009
The following is reprinted
John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader
If you think about it, Pac-Man is a strange game concerning a tiny, pie-shaped
creature who ate power pills so that he could catch ghosts. That’s an
odd premise, but nothing compared to these … behold, the 14 weirdest
video games in history:
SOCKS THE CAT ROCKS THE HILL (1992)
Socks, the pet cat of President Bill Clinton, must get to the Oval Office
to warn the president about a stolen nuclear bomb. To do that, he must
defeat villains including Russian spies, the press corps, and former presidents
Richard Nixon and George H.W. Bush.
CHAOS IN THE WINDY CITY (1994)
Basketball superstar Michael Jordan battles an army of basketball-headed
zombies that has invaded Chicago. To defeat them, he uses an arsenal of
magic basketballs (including fiery-hot basketballs and ice-block basketballs).
Toobin’ Atari game (Source: World
At the beginning of the game, the player floats down a backwoods river
in an inner-tube race. Things suddenly take a turn for the worse as the
player is chased by dinosaurs, ancient Inca warriors, and angry hillbillies.
BILL LAIMBEER’S COMBAT BASKETBALL (1991)
Basketball is supposed to be a non-contact sport. Not the way Laimbeer
played it. As a Detroit Piston in the 1980s, he was well-known for frequent
flagrant fouls and starting fights on the court. His notoriety led to
this futuristic basketball game in which players punch, kick, push, and
throw bombs at each other.
In the early 1990s, 7-Up created a mascot – an anthropomorphic dot (with
arms, legs, and sunglasses) based on the red dot in the 7-Up logo.
The Spot was licensed for this game, which was essentially one long 7-Up
ad in which the character wanders around a beach firing soda bubbles at
MICHAEL JACKSON’S MOONWALKER (1990)
A drug dealer named Mr. Big has kidnapped some children and takes them
to the Moon, where he plans to use a laser cannon to destroy the Earth.
As Michael Jackson, you have to defeat Mr. Big and his cronies by using
dance moves that shoot "magic rays."
THE TYPING OF THE DEAD (2000)
Screenshot of Typing of the Dead from Just
This semi-educational game is supposed to teach kids to type and spell.
In order to fend off hungry zombies, you have to accurately type words.
Get them right, the zombies leave you alone. Misspell, and the zombies
will eat your b-r-a-i-n.
After solving some difficult logic puzzle, you have to answer questions
about the Bible. Get those right, and you get to control Moses. The goal
is to spread the word of God by shooting large Ws (for "word of God")
at ancient Israelites.
THE FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF DIZZY (1991)
walking egg named Dizzy must save his family from an evil wizard by solving
puzzles. One of the puzzles: Dizzy must pick certain plants and mix them
in a bottle to make medicine for his sick grandpa egg.
DRUM MASTER (2006)
In the game Guitar Hero, you get a plastic guitar and play along with
well-known rock songs. Drum Master is made for the handheld Nintendo DS
– you get to drum along with popular songs with two toothpick-sized sticks.
JOHN DEERE’S HARVEST IN THE HEARTLAND (2007)
IGN has the review
of this unusual game, John Deere: Harvest in the Heartland
Using various John Deere tractors and farm implements, you have to plant
crops, fertilize crops, harvest crops, and milk cows. (And it’s one giant
ad for John Deere.)
FACE TRAINING (2007)
Using a small camera that attaches to the TV, you have to copy the facial
expressions the game tells you to make.
PRINCESS TOMATO IN THE SALAD KINGDOM (1991)
On a mission from the dying King Broccoli, the noble knight Sir Cucumber
has to rescue Princess Tomato from her captor, Minister Pumpkin. Sir Cucumber
is assisted by Percy, a baby persimmon.
TOILET KIDS (1992)
A little kid gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and
is sucked through the toilet into another dimension populated by creatures
who look like bathroom fixtures. The Toilet Kid must then battle with
tough toilet bodyguards and an evil giant urinal.
The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle
John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader.
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